All posts by SelimPensFiction

The Perils of the Second Person

In which a dialogue ensues between author and protagonist. When the author lets slip that the protagonist will die, things go from bad to worse.


You walk into the pub, dimly lit, eighties music playing a little louder than you like.

Yes, I’m walking into a pub. Well done. Wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t said. 

After casting glances left and right, the corners of your mouth turn into a frown. She isn’t here.

What? I didn’t come here to meet anyone. Tonight’s the CFL Eastern Final. 

BE QUIET!

Now where was I? Oh yes. She isn’t here, but it’s early, so you take a seat at the bar where you can keep an eye on the entrance.

More like, so I can keep an eye on the TV. Will you just get out of my head for five minutes? Who the hell are you anyway?

Okay, look. Perhaps we need to establish some boundaries. I’m the author. You’re the protagonist. I tell the story, you act it out. It’s not very complicated.

You’re the… You know, for a while I thought I was crazy because I keep hearing this voice in my head. But you’re the crazy one. I wonder what it means when there’s a voice in your head, but the voice is crazy. 

(Counts down from five and takes a deep breath) You order a Sleeman’s and take a sip.

Actually, no. I’m going to order a Guinness tonight, thank you very much. 

“Pint of Guinness,” you say.

What? No. I said Sleeman’s. You were supposed to order Sleeman’s!

Tonight I feel like Guinness. 

Listen. I’ve carefully plotted out this story, in which the reader gradually comes to understand you as we peel away your defences, layer by layer, until, tragically…

Did you say tragically? 

What? No. Of course not. No spoilers. You have to act out each part as if you’ve no foreknowledge of what’s to come.

So how tragic are we talking about? Are the Redblacks going to lose? 

Um, no. Well, yes. But it’s worse than that.

(Sighs) Okay. The love of your life, the woman of your dreams, arrives in the arms of another man.

This woman you talked about that I’ve never seen before? That woman? 

Yes, dammit, that one. And you have seen her, but it was before this story so you don’t remember. Just like you don’t remember your own name, because I haven’t introduced it yet. Look, just run with it all, okay? Can you do that?

So you think I don’t know that my name is Ethan Black?

(Growls)

I’d like to explore this thing about tragedy some more. So this woman comes in with a man. What’s so tragic? 

Well, it’s more what happens next that’s really tragic.

Which is? 

Oh fine! You march to their table where they’ve already ordered a bottle of wine. You smash the bottle on the mans head, then, with the broken top of the bottle, slit your throat. Happy now?

What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?

I was just thinking. You know what I was thinking?

What?

That I’m going to leave this pub and your crummy story. 

No! You can’t do that. I’m the author. You’re the…

Yes, I know. I’m just the lowly protagonist. Bye. 

You get up, put on your coat, and leave the pub, your glass unfinished on the bar. Moments later, all the patrons turn at the sound of screeching brakes and scream as your broken body is tossed upon the pub window. The screams continue as your corpse slides to the ground, leaving streaks of red in in its wake.

Like I said. Tragic.

(With a satisfied smile, takes story and files it away. Nothing worse than a lippy protagonist.)

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Celebrity Encounters

Does it seem to you that fan conventions are becoming ubiquitous? Just about every major city hosts them these days. Although I don’t go every single year, I still find them irresistible. Especially when they host celebrities I’m particularly fond of.

cc2018You can meet a celebrity in one or both of two ways: an autograph signing session or a photo-op. Having a photo with yourself and THAT person can be awesome. Just bear in mind that the encounter will last at best a dozen seconds. Then “poof” it’s over. Another thing is, at least at the cons I’ve been to, they only take one photo. So if you have your eyes closed, well, that’s just unfortunate.

If you want to spend a bit more time with your idol, an autograph session is the way to go. I’ve found that you can often count on getting thirty seconds or so to chit-chat, then it’s on to the next person. But that’s not cast in concrete. It depends on the duration of the session and the length of the line. You might still end up getting just a few seconds. Be mentally prepared.

If you haven’t been to a con before, note that all of this costs money. In some cases quite a bit of money. Prices for photo-ops are typically posted ahead of time. I don’t recall if autograph prices are posted ahead of time or not, and it may depend on who’s hosting and where.

When it comes to physical contact, let the celebrity take the lead. Don’t initiate a handshake or hug or any other form of contact. If they want to shake your hand, they’ll offer it to you.  If you do shake hands, do so lightly. Don’t grip tightly. Which rhymes! Makes it easy to remember.

So, let’s say you have half a minute to talk to the person you’ve waited in line an hour to meet. What do you say? It’s probably not the best idea to blurt out, “I’m your biggest fan,” or something of that ilk. Can you imagine hundreds of people telling you that over a weekend? What saved me the first couple of times was that may name isn’t common in North America, and the conversation would revolve around that. Once or twice, the celebrity and I have smiled awkwardly at each other and that was about it. After that happened, I decided to go in prepared.

What I’ve found that works fairly well is exploring their side projects and discussing these. If someone is the star of a major TV show, but they’ve done some small, independent films, check these out and discuss. Or perhaps you’ve found out they support a particular charity. Or maybe they’ve been on stage.

You have to decide what works for you, but I think its best to go prepared to discuss something other than the obvious. Or to ask about trivia from a particular episode. Or, if the show has been canceled, asking if they would return to the role someday. (Hello, Firefly fans!)

Of course, there’s a lot more to cons than the celebrities. You’ll often find row upon row of booths with merchandise, books, you name it. There are comic book artists, authors, and you may find the odd Dalek or Storm Trooper doing the rounds. And of course, attendee cosplay is an attraction in and of itself.

If you haven’t been, do check them out. They’re great fun. You’ll find people of all ages and backgrounds there. People who just want to geek out with their friends for a couple of days. What more could you ask for?

 

What’s Old has become New

During the 80’s, I never gave A-ha much thought. To me, they were YASB (Yet Another Synth Band), notable mostly for their the groundbreaking music video, “Take On Me”.

Then I saw Deadpool 2 and heard an arresting, acoustic version of “Take On Me”, and I was lost. Not only was this version of the song mesmerizing in its own right, it fit the movie perfectly.

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In short order, I found that the song was one of a set of re-worked songs on A-ha’s recent album, MTV Unplugged – Summer Solstice. I haven’t finished the album yet, but I’m already in love, particularly with the lovely acoustic version of “The Sun Always Shines on TV.”

What’s old has become new.

This is encouraging because, I don’t know about you, but I find it increasingly hard to find music that excites me. Odd, considering how many choices there are out there. Music stream services have, how many songs? Lots. Lots and lots. But finding music that appeals to you can still be a challenge.

Movie soundtracks are becoming a great way to discover music. There are some great songs on the Lost in Translation soundtrack, for example. And don’t get me started about the Lord of the Rings soundtracks. For me, it was love at first sight. Trivia note: Howard Shore, the LotR composer, was once part of Lighthouse, a popular Canadian band in the 70’s, which I was also very fond of.

Meanwhile, I’m planning to sit back and give A-ha’s unplugged album a few listens.

The Continuity Conundrum

Suppose you’re a writer and you want to write for a rich, established universe. Think Doctor Who, Star Trek, or Star Wars, for example. The question becomes, how do you write something that is original but consistent with all of that backstory?

Let’s stick with Doctor Who for now. The show started over 50 years ago, and although there was that hiatus between 1989 and 2005, that’s still a lot of content. But wait, that’s not all! You also get many books, graphic novels and audio dramas (yay Big Finish!). It’s enough to make your head explode. Unless you’re a Time Lord.

So what’s a poor, human, head-about-to-explode writer to do? Well, we can be grateful that there are websites like http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Doctor_Who_Wiki. Here you’ll find just about every fact about Doctor Who that exists. If you search for the Third Doctor, for example, you’ll learn about all his adventures in chronological order across all media. As a resource, this site is invaluable. And yet, there’s still a limit to what you can absorb, and there may be details omitted within a given adventure that contradict something in your writing.

I’m afraid this is one of those posts where I have no brilliant solutions. If you actually owned the property, rather than, say, the BBC owning Doctor Who or CBS owning Star Trek, or Disney owning Star Wars, then you could consider crowdsourcing the story. Put the whole thing online, then act on the feedback you get to make the story better. Andy Weir famously did this with his novel, The Martian, with contributors pointing out sciency things that could use some tightening.

If you’re writing fanfiction, then you can do this by posting the story on fanfiction.net, for example. I posted a very short and hopefully humorous Lord of the Rings story there. Once. It was inspired by a review of one of the Hobbit movies that pointed out that the eagles are a kind of deus ex machina in Tolkien’s writing. As multiple readers pointed out, that premise was fully explored in a YouTube video in which our heroes bypass the whole adventure by simply flying with the ring directly to Mount Doom. Rats. That episode cured me of any further desire to write LotR stories. You’ve really got to know your stuff, especially for that fandom.

Posting content online yourself doesn’t really work if you’re writing commercially for someone’s existing intellectual property. As with most things, I suppose you can only do as much research as you can (and as your deadline permits) and do your best.

PS Have I mentioned that Landbound has been released by Big Finish? Oh.

Landbound Available Now

DMzrImYX0AAWWsn.jpg-largeLandbound, the Doctor Who short story that I wrote, is now available as a Doctor Who Short Trip from Big Finish. The audio drama is free, but you need to login or create an account with Big Finish.

I can’t call it “my” story anymore, as the end result represents a collaboration with Big Finish. To be honest, the final product blows me away. Nicholas Briggs’ narration is exquisite and at times emotionally gut-wrenching. The sound effects take you right there, to the Whitby coast, to the Jolly Sailor pub, and to the TARDIS itself. Then there’s the brilliant music which adds so much to the presentation.

As for my written story, I gave it everything I had to make it the best that I could. Then, with gentle nudges from editor Ian Atkins, we made it better still.

I hope you get a chance to check it out. Let me know what you thought.

Oh yes, and Happy New Year to all!

Landbound

DMzrImYX0AAWWsn.jpg-large.jpegAs has been announced by Big Finish,  my story “Landbound” was selected for the 2017 Paul Spragg memorial competition. It will be released in audio form in December.

It’s important to note that the point of the exercise is to honour Paul Spragg, a Big Finish employee who passed away at a much too young age. He was obviously beloved by his co-workers and by all accounts was a great human being. Paul believed in nurturing new talent, hence the decision by Big Finish to open the doors in the form of this competition. It’s taken a huge amount of work on their part. Imagine the time it must take to review nearly 1,000 story concepts and narrow the field to a half dozen finalists.

As for me, it’s been an interesting journey. I just checked my fanfiction.net profile and was surprised to see that I posted my first fanfic six years ago. I’d have sworn it was less time than that. Writing fanfiction is a wonderful opportunity to  grow as a writer while meeting and supporting and being supported by fellow writers. At some point, I started to feel I was “ready”, and began submitting stories for publication. Two were rejected, the third has been in consideration for some eleven months, and then there was this year’s Paul Spragg competition. I had no serious expectation that my story concept would be selected and was absolutely gobsmacked when I got the email from Big Finish.

What I’m taking away from the experience is a couple of things. This was the first time working with an editor and it was a wonderful experience. Ian Atkins had some great ideas for how to polish the story and trim it to the required length. He helped me to better appreciate the importance of providing characters with clear motivation, for instance. There was one scene in particular that broke my heart to cut. Ian liked it as well, but pointed out that it didn’t actually move the plot forward, so it could go. It went. And all things considered, the story is better for it.

The second take away is how wonderful the community has been. I’ve received all sorts of congratulations from friends and strangers alike. It’s very heartening.

If you haven’t heard of Big Finish, by all means check them out. Though they’re likely best known for their Doctor Who audio dramas, they also produce dramas for everything from H.G. Wells to Sherlock Holmes to the Prisoner to King Lear. They’ve been expanding their output while somehow improving the quality of their productions. They are very good and well worth exploring. The short trips range, of which Landbound will be a part, are short stories narrated usually by a single actor. Again, there are some real gems here. I’m particularly taken with “Falling“, a lovely first Doctor story that features his companion Polly.

I’ll post a link here when the story is released. Hope you enjoy it.

 

My Favourite Fanfiction Stories

I’ve written a fair number of fanfics at this point. Enough for about two respectable novels if you go by word count. When I look back at them, some of them make me shudder, some make me smile. I thought I’d make a list of the ones I’m most fond of. If you’re just starting to read my stories, this list might help. The timing seems right. If I haven’t stopped writing fanfiction, I’ve certainly slowed down.

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Rook to Castle” was one of my early Castle stories and I think it’s held up pretty well. A very simple story simply told, we see Rick Castle meeting his own creation. I also quite like “Western Castle“, one of my longer stories. It was inspired by an episode of The Prisoner in which the story of the agent who retired was re-told as a western.

 

 

 

 

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My favourite Firefly fic is “Bookends“, which tells the story of how Zoe and Wash went from mutual dislike to man and wife.

 

 

 

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Fate of the Earth” isn’t particularly well written Doctor Who, but the core idea is still one I’m proud of. “Walk the Plank“, is a small story about the young Doctor’s first attempt to steal a TARDIS. The story concept was provided by Thomas0399. I like the idea that the last Doctor that Sarah Jane Smith encountered before her passing was the Fourth Doctor, who bent the laws of time to pay her one last visit. That adventure is told in “End Game“. Finally, there’s “Mirror Mirror“, which was my (non-winning) entry for the 2016 Big Finish Paul Spragg memorial contest.

Crossovers

I only actually have one crossover, told in a series of stories, in which Rick Castle teams up with the crew of Firefly and then with the Doctor. The series begins with the Firefly story, “Goodbye” which was never intended to be part of a series. Then I wrote “A Firefly in the Castle“, “Castle Serenity“, and then “Miranda“. Look out for the Doctor’s cameo in “Castle Serenity”. That little hook let me write the final story in the series and bring it to a nice conclusion. It really is true that stories sometimes have a life of their own. Hopefully, as the series progresses, you’ll see an improvement in my writing. Certainly, Miranda was the most complicated story I’ve written in terms of plotting. I had to fit the story into the framework of Serenity (the movie) and my own “Castle Serenity”.